The possibility of a win win happens when love and acceptance for who you are, whatever you happen to be wearing, whoever you choose to associate with, behaving in the manner that you choose to behave.  Yes, there ARE laws about how we interact in civilized societies, yet the point here is to open up the doorways of acceptance and into loving each other.

I knew of a couple who were entertaining the idea that she would take a Leadership class.  He said to her, “If you take this class, you don’t love me.”  As preposterous as that sounds … to me … she decided to skip the class.

I ask you, “Did their relationship grow from that experience?”  The motivation for her, to grow and change died when she was threatened with the loss of her mate.  How often does this occur in relationships?

The bigger possibility for this couple would have been for her to take her class and still love her mate!  By playing to his insecurities, she limited them both.

So, because you love me, you will grow!  Now there’s a motivator for you!  Grow and go.

Many Moms will say this as they put yet another box in the attic.  “I must put this equipment, or these project supplies away just in case…” or, “I can’t part with [fill in the blank], it feels like I’m betraying my dead aunt, uncle, mom, dad…” or, “That was a gift from my third ex-wife and reminds me of a happy time.”

Stuff that we hold on to can soon define who we are.  It’s as if we choose certain items which anchor us to our pasts; we’re afraid that by moving forward, we’ll drift in the sea of life.  Sometimes, our “stuff” anchors us so strongly to our past, that we don’t feel a pull to our future.  Our future feels risky while our past feels comforting, comfortable.

Havens are meant to be places you return to once you’ve been “out” in the world.  And caves are for hibernating bears, not for humans to disappear into.

Sure, taking risks can be frightening.  In fact, generally, that’s the nature of risk-taking.  Yet, you grow stagnant, backward and rutty when nothing is hazarded.  There’s no conflict to spur growth, no chop to the sea, and you waste away.

What are you using to anchor yourself to your past?  What can you release today?

When I began to realize that there were new technologies that would truly please my parents, I introduced them with a preamble:  “Now I’m not going to get this for you if you don’t use it.”   The Kindle had been released yet you couldn’t download directly to it.  So, I waited and continued to tease my mother with statements like, “You’re going to love this.  It will make your life a lot easier” (She is an avid book reader.)

Finally, I ordered the second generation Kindle.  Apparently, her friend got HER Kindle first.  So, Mom developed a new and rare disease called, “Kindle envy”.  She began to ask ME when her Kindle was arriving.  The day came, and Mom and Kindle fell in love.  This happy occurance led to my father having “Kindle envy”.  My Mom gave him a Kindle for his birthday and they live happily together.

This one bit of technology led to further and further explorations by both my Mom and Dad.  While they are not tech-savvy, they are far from tech-illiterate.  We communicate and they are not lost in the technological rat race anymore.

Who can you introduce to technology today?

Looking at the most tangible examples, we see that the internet, TV, texting, digital phone, etc.  all serve to connect us.  And now, I have at least one skype or tango video call/week so people can SEE me!  Technology has allowed for quicker, more opportunity and faster communication than ever.

As we look at the scientific realm, we know that being in the same room with someone means that we share DNA.  Dreaded germs and viruses are additional “proof” of that unseen connection between us.

What is the purpose of this message?  It’s that you are not alone!  Someone else has felt the same joy; the same pain; experienced something similar.

Too often, we are instructed to act professional.  Educated in the fine art of corporate etiquette, we use customs and rituals to separate.  When this happens, we grow distant from the source of life; and often from the source of creative information.

Choose to deliberately connect today.  You never know the opportunities available for you unless you use your natural bridges.

There are two points that I want to make about that:

1)    Argue for your limitations and you will surely keep them.  In other words, turn off the voices.

2)   Request that you be allowed to grow and change in your relationships ie. request that others release your “history”.  Look forward.

When you argue for your limitations, or for the limitations of others, you create and focus on doubt.  When you focus on doubt; doubt grows.  When you focus on success;  success grows.  Try it.

Once you risk letting your relatives see you differently, as they WILL when you let them know that their “reminders” bother you, your request of them to not “hold you in your history” then requires YOU to do the same for them.  It may amuse you that the issue then becomes about you allowing THEM to change enough to honor your request!

It’s a fact, that if you look at current “externals” such as economic indicators, the Weather Channel, Fox News, the DOW, we should all hide our money under our mattresses, pull our covers over our heads and not come out again until around 2014.  I, for one, choose to see things differently.

“I have all that I need in this moment.”  Think about that.  Say it out loud.  In this present moment, you are breathing; your heart is beating; you literally have everything that you need to survive.  Once you own that thought; turn your focus inward.  Think about what you want to have, in addition to having what you need.  Then take a deep expansive breath and close your eyes.

Imagine that you have all that you desire; that this special moment somehow is transformed to the moment after “having it all”.   What is that for you?  And now, how are you feeling?  Generally, the world is a happier place, once you move from external influences, to internal referral.  At the very least, you will feel less anxious, more “in control” of your world.  And from that happier place, make decisions that will move you forward out from under the influence of what “They are saying out there!”